"A daddy longlegs... IS NOT A FATHER!!"

At the counsellors today she seemed to keep going back to the theory that my IBS stems from my depression during sixth form, which I’ve always thought since it started not long after, but that I’m some how still clinging onto thoughts and behaviours from sixth form which is why my IBS still acts up. I don’t know. I’m a completely different person from how I was then, thank goodness. But it got me thinking about sixth form, and the only people who helped me through that time.

When I was depressed, the only thing that could really cheer me up was a group of friends. I couldn’t talk to them at sixth form, I had to wait until I came home, and every evening I’d be online as soon as I got back, because I needed them. They were, and still are, online friends I met on an MMORPG. My guild and friends on there were quite honestly my life savers. Without them, I would have been completely and utterly lost - finally, there were people who accepted me as I was, had no prejudices and didn’t judge me. And we all got along so well, cheesy as it is to say it we were like one big happy family. With the occasional argument of course, but what family doesn’t argue every now and again? We were mostly from all over Europe but we had a few members further away - several of us from the UK like me, Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Iceland, France, Denmark, Italy and even Indonesia and New Zealand. 

The only problem was, I was using this game to escape what I couldn’t and didn’t want to face in real life. My parents would get angry at the fact that I was constantly playing this game and my grades slipped. I came away from sixth form with much worse grades than predicted, and a place at a university, but not my first choice - but I made it. Because of the game, because of my friends on there, I hadn’t slipped into many of the typical depressive behaviours. They kept me going when I needed it most and for that reason I never want to lose touch with them. Although the game shut down shortly after I started university (probably for the best), and I got over my depression after leaving sixth form and we’ve all gone our own ways, I still keep in contact with them. We tried several other MMOs together but none stuck. I made a forum for us, we have Facebook, MSN, Steam, texts, Skype, so many ways to keep in touch. Although I don’t need them like I needed them four years ago, they’re still my friends and I would hate to lose any of them.

I guess what I wanted to say, after all my waffling, is that I hate this stigma attached to ‘online friends’. A lot of people, mainly older generations who haven’t grown up in the environment we have, seem to think that anyone who talks to you online is out to hurt you. But I just wanted to say that without my online friends, I honestly don’t know if I’d be here today. It’s painful to admit but they saved me from doing anything stupid because they gave me just a glimmer of hope, and cheered me up when I most needed it. They didn’t even realise my situation until last year, when I told them exactly what I was going through at the time and how they helped. Shows how much they changed my mood for the better really.

Conclusion: Online friends are amazing <3